Having trouble going to church or feeling like you would fit in at church? Here are three tips to help you get your foot in the door and find a place to call home.
A little over a year ago, my husband and I decided to move our family to a new church. For the health and spiritual growth of our family, we felt this was necessary.
Let me proceed with caution. I believe that we have to be very careful not to become consumers in a church. We live in a very consumer-driven society (what can I get for me) and we have to be very careful not to bring that attitude into the church.
How do I get my monies worth, so-to-say can lead a church into destruction fast.
There are three things that I am going to share, that I believe, will help you settle into new surroundings. If you choose to go to a new church or if you are just beginning to go to church these tips will help you get to know the heart of the church. As always, make sure that the church is adhering to the Word of God.
When you walk into a church or a new church, remember, it is full of human beings. Humans, by nature, are sinners. This is not always an easy transition. But with a willing heart and the help of the Lord, He will guide you.
Community
- When going to a new church, find a way to get involved in a community. Sometimes, that can be difficult and scary. Give those fears and worries to Christ and ask for His leading. Stick with it. Find a group that you can get into the Word together with, share life with, and pray with. There is nothing that builds stronger relationships than to be tied around God’s Word and Prayer.
For where two or three have gathered together in my name, I am there in their midst. Matthew 18:20
Service
- Giving of yourself in service to the Lord is a great way to feel at home. This has a two-fold benefit or blessing. You get to know more people and you get to give of yourself for someone else’s purposes. Christ was an amazing example of servitude.
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28
Edify
- Finally, this is not only vital to the health of the church but to the body of Christ as a whole and that is to edify. To edify, if you are unfamiliar with this word, means to build each other up. This is not puffing each other up for the sake of building up personal pride, but to build each other up for God’s Glory. To edify is for the purposes of making the body of Christ stronger.
From Him, the whole body is fitted and held together by every supporting ligament. And as each individual part does its work, the body grows and builds itself up in love. Ephesians 4:16
Some ways that we can do that is to study together, pray together, praise together, be there for one another and offer the same graces, mercies, and forgiveness that you, too, have been given.
I hope, that if you are struggling to find a church to call home, you will consider these three tips for making the experience of church life better. I hope you will remember, as believers, we are all part of the Body of Christ. The responsibility, with the guidance of Christ and the leading of the Holy Spirit, is to make it strong. We are all in this together, friends, and I am glad that you have all joined me today for the encouragement of each other here.
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Hi Jaime. I'm thrilled to meet you and even more thrilled to be linking with you. I'd love you to link with me on Fridays at Five Star Frou-Frou at A Tray of Bliss. We'd welcome you with open arms. Love, Mimi xxx
Thank yo so much for stopping by Mimi. I have checked out your space. It is quite lovely. I have linked up and added it to my list. I am glad that you are here sharing with us. Have a great week.
Dear Jaime, and likewise, I'm so pleased I found your lovely blog. Looking forward to getting to know you. This is a wonderful post too. I thank you for your wise words on the difference between edification and flattery. So true. Love, Mimi xxx
Mimi, looking forward to more posts. Thanks again for connecting here!
Jaime,
Good to be back here this am.! My husband and I just changed churches after quite a long time and our children being grown. I have never believed in church-hopping and this was a hard decision, but we felt like our church was becoming more and more like a performance and less like a worship experience. When I go to church I want to be drawn into spending time with the Lord…not have him paraded in front of me. There is no perfect church…but your list of things to look for is indeed helpful.
Blessings,
Bev
Bev, I am with you on the church hopping. We contemplated it for a couple of years and felt God calling us to make a move. This is a very hard decision and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. The church we moved from was actually the church I grew up in. Flipping around from church to church just brings your problems to a new church. I believe you have to follow God's calling and be prepared for all the imperfections we find because churches are made up of imperfect people.
If we have our focus on those around us, we quickly lose focus on Christ and we quickly get disappointed and let down. People were never meant to be the focus of church and as you said, it makes it hard to worship. I hope you will find a new space that you can call home.
Three terrific tips. We are in the process of looking for a new church. Living here in the Bible Belt you would think it is easy. Not so. I try not to get discourage and keep trusting God has a place for us. Thanks for the party and as always, your encouraging words.
Michelle, I have been following your stories and journey through this. You are going straight on my prayer list. I believe it is so important to be part of a healthy church. By healthy, I mean there are people there that will encourage you, build you up, pray for you, and walk this very rough journey together with you. It is hard to do battle alone.
I know that we can get really hurt by church, I have walked those miles. I think it is essential to turn those hurts over to Christ so they don't keep us captive and and keep us from being a part of the body. Forgiveness doesn't have to always be with the person, sometimes, it just has to be vertical work so as not to break worship with Christ. I will pray for you right now, friend. Please let us know how it is going. We are here for you!
Jaime, we were church shopping in the fall of 2002. We found our home and we've never looked back. It is everything the local church should be. We always joke and say, "Unless God physically picks us up and puts us somewhere else, we will stay at CC until we have church in heaven!" Joining the linkup today.
Susan, I am glad to hear you have found a place to call home. Having a church to love on us and we are able to love them is so important and makes this journey a little more bearable. Thank you for sharing you story with us here.
Jaime, we changed churches over a decade ago, and it was one of the hardest decisions we ever made. I appreciate your words of caution about "consumerism" in the church. And thank you for hosting!
Michele, I know change is a hard decision and one that should really be by the following of Christ. Thanks for you encouragement here and to others. We do have to be careful not to look at church as a take, take, take. What is here that is pleasing me? What can I get out of it? I tithe, so I want to get this out of it, kind of attitude. That is very destructive to a church and in essence to the body as a whole.
We are called to follow the example of Christ and be servants not only in our church but in the places that he has put us. Thanks for stopping, Michelle. Always great to hear from you.
Thanks for this good post, Jaime. This is a subject we can sometimes hesitate to talk about, but one that we likely should. My husband and I would definitely say we are not "church hoppers". In the course of our 51+ years marriage we have moved several times and it has never been easy to do. Twice it related to our children (lack of a good Sunday School and then Youth program). A third time, there was a church split after 14 years. Then we were a part of a church for 21+ years where I ultimately served on staff for 13. We never wanted to move again and had waited 2 years before joining that church. That church went through a number of transitions. After I retired about a year and a half ago, my husband and I really felt when we were honest that the church we had served, with people we loved, was not truly lining up with what we believed. We also were aware we had seen so much behind the scenes that it was harder to worship there and church became something we no longer looked forward to. We visited several places and ultimately there was one about a year ago that we sensed the Lord moving in and continued to attend until last Sunday when we joined. We are not consumers, but we wanted a church with solid biblical teaching, good worship, a church that had a solid sense of outreach (local and beyond), and one that was family and relationship focused. (The church we had served had slipped on the first two, had none of the third or fourth in that list.) We know there is no perfect church, but we are looking forward to how the Lord can use us here in this new body and truly feel the Lord has led us here. We are excited about the possibilities. Thanks for the courage to put this post out for us to talk about. Blessings on your day!
Pam, I so appreciate you sharing your heart, your story, and your experience. I know that we benefit from being here together and walking these roads together. As much as I love what we offer each other in person and with personal connections, I have been so blessed by everyone who has gathered here. I have meet such wonderful people, like yourself and appreciate the encouragement that we can offer one another in these spaces. Glad you are here, friend.
Finding and fitting into a new church sure does put you out of your comfort zone a little bit. Great tips for getting involved, thanks for sharing. And, thanks for hosting today. ((blessings))
It certainly does put us out of our comfort zones. Getting put in a position to meet and share our hearts with new people is hard. I hope these tips are helpful for someone to know how to fill into those spaces in a way that is beneficial to everyone and in making the body they are involved in a stronger place.
Thanks for hosting Jaime! When we moved and were looking for a new church to worship with, we looked for the congregation that was the most scriptural. Like you mentioned, it's not about having fun and consumerism, it's about worshipping God.
Debbie, so glad you shared. That is essential. There can be a fancy building with wonderful programs but it is vital they are teaching the scripture and living it out. Sometimes that is very clear and cut and dry. Sometimes however, it takes putting the time in and being a part of the community and serving with others to see where hearts really are. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here with us.
so true, jamie that people are looking often for what they can gain from a church family. but families don't always perform perfectly and serving is the best way to get involved and be loved in return. I'd add: good teaching that doesn't tickle your funny bone as much as stirs my heart to love Jesus more. blessings on you today.
It is tough because we are in a me-centered world and to move to a God-centered life and theology is a big adjustment. This post was way longer and I had to cut it down. I am with you Sue in saying it is essential to find a God-centered Bible teaching church. I actually added a sentence but may expand on this topic at nest week. So glad yo are here every week, friend!
Great advice, Jaime! This is one of the hardest things to do is transition between churches. Thanks for hosting and hope you have an amazing week 🙂
Transitioning between churches is hard. You become close to people and they become a family. Going to a new space and opening up your heart to a new group is always difficult. I am glad that you stop by and share your heart here, friend! I hope you are having a great week!
Very true, Jaime. We had a hard transition last year as there was a split in our church, and we decided to leave. I didn't understand the blessing at the time though, because now we have a found another church home and our faith is growing, and we were embraced by genuine people. So glad for your encouragement and friendship each week! Hope you are having a great week also and thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday 🙂
Jaime, It's no coincidence that you were my neighbor at Women with Intention. My husband and I are in the process of looking for a new church to call home. The church we are currently attending makes it more difficult to practice the three things you listed as it is 45 minutes from our home. As a result, we are hoping to find a church closer to our home so we can be a part of the the community, studying God's Word together, serving together and edifying each other.
Thank you so much for this excellent and edifying post! 🙂
Isn't funny how God puts things on on hearts at just the right time. A lady I attend summer Bible study with says the same thing as what you are saying here. They found a church that they just love but it is hard to get involved the way they want to because it is far from their house.
These things have really made church more enjoyable for me, so I definitely understand. The church we go to is very large compared to what I was used to. It is hard in those cases to get swallowed up in the crowd. By joining in and finding a way that I could connect through study, serve and encouraging others has made the church seem smaller. I have gotten to know people and through deeper relationships tied by God's Word. Now when I go, I don't feel like another face in the crowd. I don't think I need to know everyone but having people that I feel connected to in some way has helped so much and been such a blessing. I will pray for you this weekend, Karen. Thank you as always for stopping by and sharing your heart.
You gave some good advice. My problem is that I can not find a church that I feel comfy in. I am a Doubting Thomas. I am always trying look behind the curtain.
Actually, I did find a church I like but it is 800 miles from me. It felt really good. I went to service there on a Sunday and people were cool and there was no high pressure (I have found this out in churches I have visited.
Hopefully, I will find one soon.
Patrick, I am so glad to hear this. I will be praying for you. I just want to remind you that there is no perfect church. The church I currently go to is wonderful but I have to keep in mind that it is still full of people and if I build them up, they are bound to let me down. My focus at church has to be on Christ and although these are great tips to meeting people and feeling comfortable in a church my heart has to be right with God when I enter that place. He has to be my lead and has to be my guide. Such great responses coming in all directions, I feel this needs to be expounded on. So glad you are here today, friend. If you have any thoughts or questions, feel free to email me. We can certainly have more of a conversation.
May I also add that God did not condemn Thomas for doubting. He loving showed Him His wounds. God is not afraid of our doubts, our fears, our frustrations. He is standing with open arms waiting for His children to bring those things to Him. Lay them at His feet. He has conquered it all at the cross. He has already won the battles. Give them to Him. He is there for you, friend!
Your tips about getting involved in a new church are good ones! I'm going to link up here for the first time.
Elizabeth, I am glad that you are here! Here we are friends sitting down together having real conversations. I look forward to seeing you back next week.
It is hard to leave a church and find another one, but your tips are good. You really can't get to know a church without spending time with the people in it, which includes fellowship, service and edification. Blessings to you! I'm visiting from #ThoughtProvokingThursday.
Thank you for the encouragement, Gayl. I love that reminder. You can't get to know a church without spending time with the people in it. Good or Bad. You learn a lot about the heart of a church by spending time with the people in it. Glad your here, friend. I look forward to seeing you again next week.
I am a life long church goer who quit going and I haven't been back in a couple of years. Thanks for this post. All stuff I know, but needed to be reminded of.
Cathy, I have been in your shoes. Being a life time church goer, there have been seasons in my life that I have not gone to church and I truly have missed the fellowship. I am glad you are here today. This is decision you can work through with God's guidance, follow His leading. Praying for you today, friend.
Thanks for the post. My family has been searching for a new church home. The process has been difficult for many reasons. I appreciate your gentle approach. I have been considering addressing this same topic on my blog in the future.
Many Thanks,
Finding a church home is something that takes a lot of prayer. It is not an easy decision and should not be taken lightly. It is always best to follow God's lead. Have a great week.
Jaime,
Another wonderful post. Making a new church "home" can be difficult. These are such great tips! I'm scheduling this to share everywhere, my friend!!
Hugs,
Lori
Thank you so much, friend for sharing. I do truly appreciate it. I am probably going to write a post next week about church. I have had such a great response to this both good and a few not so good (not here). It is okay because we can learn together. I appreciate the love and the encouragement. Have a great week.
I loved reading this. My husband and I did a church search but I was never able to articulate how we did it. My friend is going through a searching right now too, I am going to share this with her. Also, thank you for hosting the link up! I found you from the Grace & Truth link up! 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing, Kayla. I hope these tips are helpful to your friend and if she would like to have more of a conversation with me, my email is on the bottom of this page. Have her email me and tag this post (so I don't miss it.) I don't have all the answers but I would love to be of encouragement to her and pray with her. Thank you for stopping by,I hope we see you again next week.
Thanks for the good advice. My family will soon be looking for a new church to call home. Thanks for sharing with TGI Saturdays. Blessings.
You are Welcome. It seems many people are in your position. I will add you to my prayer list for this. I hope you are doing well, Latisha! Have a great week!
Changing churches is not an easy decision, but when the Holy Spirit directs a change He will also show you how to fit in. The first of last year, I left an old established (in their ways) church. It was nice, but there was no freedom. When I visited a certain church, I knew this was to be my home. One tip to fit in is to get involved in small groups. A Bible study was the one I chose, The teacher encouraged me to take part. Then I aligned myself with the prayer over our city group. Suddenly the Pastor put me in charge to bring a short focus before the prayer meeting. I enjoyed your points and they are well taken. Thank you for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story.
Good reminders. Thanks for sharing with #LMMLinkup!
Good morning Jamie. I am enjoying getting to know you and the sweet bloggers in this community! I think of my church family as my extended family. Love my church and so thankful for them. Your three points are so good! Community, service and edify – yes! Bless you!
My husband and I just moved to a new area and are trying to find a church to join. Thanks for the advice about how is can be scary to join in the community but that its best if you just stick with it. Hopefully, I can find a good church that will be able to give me lots of opportunities to do service. http://www.gracelutheranhenderson.org/Home/