As I look back at my wedding photos that we have hanging on
the walls of our house, I often times look at my husband and I and wonder, who
are those two love birds?
the walls of our house, I often times look at my husband and I and wonder, who
are those two love birds?
My husband has a few less hairs (I had to add few) and I had
fewer gray hairs. We practically look like babies. Where did the time go? Where
did we go? We used to be fun and wild, crazy, and free. Did he change? Did I
change?
fewer gray hairs. We practically look like babies. Where did the time go? Where
did we go? We used to be fun and wild, crazy, and free. Did he change? Did I
change?
We are going to be celebrating our tenth anniversary this
year and as I reflect on the past years, I see how our lives constantly transform.
year and as I reflect on the past years, I see how our lives constantly transform.
Quite honestly, I am glad I am not that girl anymore in some
ways and in some ways I miss her a bit.
ways and in some ways I miss her a bit.
Do you ever wish you could go back and tell your younger
self a thing or two or three or are you glad you had to figure it out the hard
way?
self a thing or two or three or are you glad you had to figure it out the hard
way?
Often times you hear couples say, especially in times of
struggle, “You’re not the guy or girl that I married.”
struggle, “You’re not the guy or girl that I married.”
Some of you may be
thinking Hallelujah, and others may be holding onto resentment or bitterness
toward the fact that your spouse is not the same person.
thinking Hallelujah, and others may be holding onto resentment or bitterness
toward the fact that your spouse is not the same person.
When Scott and I first got married, we struggled, as many
couples do, in our first years of really settling in together. Things become
quite different; kids come along, the daily grind grinds in, and life becomes well,
life. But that man I fell in love with is now my best friend.
couples do, in our first years of really settling in together. Things become
quite different; kids come along, the daily grind grinds in, and life becomes well,
life. But that man I fell in love with is now my best friend.
What Happens? Those two people that often got married and were head-over-heels in love,
start to change.
Some of us are open to the changing relationships in our
lives but some people are saying, Change? Me!?!
lives but some people are saying, Change? Me!?!
We quickly respond, “I am the
same person or I am not the one that changed.”
same person or I am not the one that changed.”
Let’s be real, we all change. We were not the same in first grade as we were
when we were seniors in high school. We were not the same when we began college
or our careers as we are five or ten years later.
when we were seniors in high school. We were not the same when we began college
or our careers as we are five or ten years later.
People have to change, they have to adapt to the changing
environment and life around them. It can be amazing, you can become a better
person, or it can be detrimental and you can go in the opposite direction.
environment and life around them. It can be amazing, you can become a better
person, or it can be detrimental and you can go in the opposite direction.
I don’t stress over our changing marriage. In fact, I look
forward to new things and new phases, and praise God for renewed mercies every
morning.
forward to new things and new phases, and praise God for renewed mercies every
morning.
I feel our marriage
is better now than when it began. My husband and I have grown together and
created a bond grounded in faith. With the grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father,
we are not only surviving but we absolutely enjoy each other.
is better now than when it began. My husband and I have grown together and
created a bond grounded in faith. With the grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father,
we are not only surviving but we absolutely enjoy each other.
I am not saying that we never struggle, but we have an ingredient
that is, what I believe, key to any marriage. It is grounded in faith and held
together by a foundation in a God that is bigger than all our issues, all our
changes, and all our finicky ways we bring to our relationship.
that is, what I believe, key to any marriage. It is grounded in faith and held
together by a foundation in a God that is bigger than all our issues, all our
changes, and all our finicky ways we bring to our relationship.
If you are in a marriage or any
relationship, where you won’t change or the other person won’t change, you will
come into struggles. Change is essential. Just as you get up and change your
clothes everyday (hopefully), you have to change you attitudes and behaviors to
work together and that is okay.
relationship, where you won’t change or the other person won’t change, you will
come into struggles. Change is essential. Just as you get up and change your
clothes everyday (hopefully), you have to change you attitudes and behaviors to
work together and that is okay.
Don’t be afraid to change.
Embrace the change.
Embrace the opportunity for new beginnings and being able to sing a new
song.
song.
The key or the essential element to any strong relationship
is the reliance on a GOD that doesn’t change. He is eternally constant. He is
eternally consistent.
is the reliance on a GOD that doesn’t change. He is eternally constant. He is
eternally consistent.
So as we change, as we grow, as we mature, we have a
constant that we can rely on to never change. His promises are the same. His
expectations of us are the same, day to day.
constant that we can rely on to never change. His promises are the same. His
expectations of us are the same, day to day.
The awesome thing about serving an eternal God is He sees
the big picture, in fact He sees the whole picture. When we see only our day to
day or our past, He knows our future. He knows what He has in store for us, for
our families, for our marriages, and for our friendships.
the big picture, in fact He sees the whole picture. When we see only our day to
day or our past, He knows our future. He knows what He has in store for us, for
our families, for our marriages, and for our friendships.
Personally, I have had to grow up a lot in the past ten
years. Every time I have a struggle it comes down to this, Asking God to change
ME.
years. Every time I have a struggle it comes down to this, Asking God to change
ME.
No matter whom the relationship has involved: family,
friends, spouse, children, acquaintances, and people I met in my everyday life,
God has required my submission.
friends, spouse, children, acquaintances, and people I met in my everyday life,
God has required my submission.
He has left me in my, sometimes miserable, state until I
have realized, I cannot change people, but He can. What I can do is ask a God
who is bigger than any situation I have ever faced to
have realized, I cannot change people, but He can. What I can do is ask a God
who is bigger than any situation I have ever faced to
Change Me!
I have asked a God that is bigger than all my struggles
to make me more like Him. It is not always easy, but often times, a
necessary change.
to make me more like Him. It is not always easy, but often times, a
necessary change.
Psalm 102 is a prayer of one overwhelmed with trouble,
pouring our problems before the Lord.
pouring our problems before the Lord.
Do you ever feel like the overwhelmed person pouring out
you problems before the Lord?
you problems before the Lord?
Here is some constant reassurance for you, Psalm
102:27-28 says: But YOU are always the
same; YOU will live forever. The children of your people will live in security.
Their children’s children will thrive in your presence.”
102:27-28 says: But YOU are always the
same; YOU will live forever. The children of your people will live in security.
Their children’s children will thrive in your presence.”
We can’t say that about the people in our lives but we can say that about an AWESOME GOD!
So you can put your hope and faith and trust in Him.
So you can put your hope and faith and trust in Him.
So as you face your next struggle or next encounter that
may not be a pleasant one, challenge yourself in this way, ask God, to make a
real change, but ask Him to make it in you.
Please leave comments below and read from others about their journeys.
So good to come across your post through Suzie's #livefreeThursday. Just found out yesterday that we have to move in the next few months… from the house I've been in for 12 years, the one all four of our kids have lived in the whole time with us. It's sudden and I want to cry out, "Change? (Why) me?" but you remind me it's the chance for a new song. Thank you.
Laurie, Thank you for stopping by from #livefree Thursday. I pray that your family has a good transition into a new home where you will be able to make more memories with those four little darlings and that you will all be singing a new song of praise.