The battle for marriage and the covenant for marriage is rapidly being attacked. I thank God for being at the center of my Christian marriage because, without Him, I would have probably succumbed to the fate of so many marriages today.

When I was growing up, I went to church regularly. I accepted Christ as a preteen and had great intentions of living for Him. I remember sitting in a gathering at church camp and committing to saving myself for my future husband. Being a preteen, this seemed easy. Why wouldn’t I want to do what God wanted me to?

I heard many times “God’s rules.” The do’s and don’ts of Christian Marriage.

Marriage is for one man and one woman. Don’t live together. Don’t have premarital sex. Because God commands it.

While all of that is true, as a young girl, I began to fall into many traps. Traps that seemed impossible to be rescued from. I had broken the rules and I was beyond all the do’s and don’ts and thought I was too far away from God. Too far gone for my sins to be forgiven and completely stuck in the stronghold of sin.

Strongholds of Sin

These strongholds and feelings of being trapped in my sin continued on into my late-twenties. Growing up in the ’80s and ’90s, I believed what women were being told and shown on TV and in society. What’s good for Ross is good for Rachel, right? With no repercussions. No feelings of loss or connection. No remorse or regrets.

I knew God’s story. I knew I was saved. But I also falsely believed it ended with that. That getting the golden ticket to Heaven was all I needed. I thought I could live the way I wanted to live giving in to my desires. I had become so entrenched in the world’s definition of womanhood and the freedom to be who I wanted to be that there was no sight of being God’s child anywhere in my life.

So life continued on and while I continued to feel stuck, I didn’t think there was an escape. Holding my golden ticket in one hand, and my right for independence from anyone in the other.

I had been hurt, shamed and humiliated more times than I wanted to admit.

Join me for the rest of this post as part of a fantastic marriage series. Head over to Experience His Freedom with Angel Penn. 

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