Seeking God with Jaime Wiebel

Finding Our Identity in the Heart of God.

It’s Time to Surrender & Sitting Among Friends #46

by 26 Comments

Thank you for joining me for this mini-series in honor of National Pregnancy Loss and Miscarriage Month. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it encourages your heart. 

Shocked, could be the word to describe this unexplainable loss. In a matter of one minute, I went from having two babies to have none.
Why did I need to think this over? What was there to think about? I just wanted it all to go away. The hurt, The overwhelmed feelings, the confusion, the… I didn’t know what.
I wanted to remedy the situation immediately but because of a previous emergency C-section to resolve this immediately would put my life at risk because of the stage of pregnancy I was in.

One week. I had to wait. For the right doctors to be available. One week.

There I was, sitting curled up on my bed with no answers. They tried. They were twins and they are fragile. But those answers didn’t satisfy me.

I had wanted certain answers. How did they miss this? Why, with all the modern technology, did they miss this? Why? Why? Why?

I felt so many things. I felt outside my body watching the whole thing happen to this person I thought I recognized. I was certain that everyone around could sense my pain and they were all looking at me. With no words just empty stares.

The pain and the hurt, as if my heart was torn into a million pieces. I had suddenly grown a heart for not one more but two.

Would I ever get to see their faces? Hold their tiny little hands? Count their bitty toes? Kiss their little bellies?

Prayers of desperation. Prayers of dedication. Prayers of cooperation.

I had them all.  

At this time in my life, I had created some distance between God and myself. Sure I could play the “good Christian Girl” but I was busy. Busy with life. Busy with my control. Busy being who I thought I was. Just busy.

Through all the tears, I decided to curl into my Bible. Certainly, God would have a word for me.

Then I came across this verse.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Prayer, I could do, but can’t we all when things get tough? Finally reaching out to the God I had pushed far from my heart.

Sure, I could serve on Sundays and Wednesdays and to be honest give good lip service. My real life, my real heart, they were mine and I was okay with that.  

With Thanksgiving. How would I be thankful for this? I didn’t even understand it.

Make my requests known to God. I certainly could do that. Make their little hearts beat again. Make the ultrasound wrong. I have faith, well, all I needed was a tiny mustard seed, right?

Peace. That is what I wanted. No, really I wanted my babies. I wanted to hold them and watch them get big and crawl and walk. I wanted to take them to school and love them.

Promises I made. Promises. I negotiated with God to be the best mom if only I had the chance.

God had different intentions for me and my life. Just as He does for all of us.

It is called surrender.

My life had become my own.

I am in no way suggesting that God was punishing me. Although the thoughts crossed my mind. I had a rocky past, I had a selfish present, and I certainly couldn’t make any promises that I would be better than this in the future.

God, in His perfect love, is a God of perfecting love.

What I am suggesting is God knows what will bring us to our knees. It is not the same for everyone.

But for me, it was this. 

One Week. The time I had to think this over. The amount of time God needed to bring peace to my heart and surrender to my life. His Timing is always perfect.

For the first time in my life, I surrendered, not only myself but my babies.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
Please come back next week to read “My Garden Prayer”. The prayer that helped me be lead to Peace and eventually Praise God in all His Sovereignty.  
Then I hope you return the final week of October, I will offer the hope and peace from the only source I know it truly comes from – from My Lord and Savior – Jesus Christ.
Also, if you are encouraged by this and other articles you read here, could you please share this with your friends and family. I would love for them to join us.

I would love to connect with you on social media! 
You can Find Me at the Links Below!

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This week’s featured friend is Elizabeth from Just Following Jesus. Elizabeth has a fantastic site. She offers encouragement through her daily walk with Christ. She has recipes for your soul and has regular posts of gratitude for her life. A list that is really fun to read. Thanks for stopping by every week, Elizabeth. I am glad you are here. 

While you’re here, sit down with some of my friends.

WOW! Thank you all for coming here and for the 66 Amazing posts from last week. This party has been wonderful and it is thanks to you, friends, who link-up with us and those who stop by and read and SHARE! Thank you!

You all are amazing writers who share Family and Faith, DIY’s, Recipes, Photos, Giveaways, Homeschool and more. Many of you have amazing journeys of faith and I praise the Lord we are able to connect here!

There are easy share buttons to your left or at the bottom of each post (mobile) and after you link-up. Thanks for sharing! 

Thanks! From all of us at  #SittingAmongFriends

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Comments

  1. Carlie Lake says

    Oh, Jaime, my heart bleeds for you as I read this. Yet at the same time, I am thankful, because I know your story continues in hope. I am thankful for the comfort you find in Christ and for all that you do to share that comfort and hope with others. Grace and peace to you, my friend.

    Reply

  2. Michele Morin says

    What a hard road you have walked, but those words: "curl into my Bible." This alone shows me how you managed it, and your good choice is a huge encouragement to your readers!

    Reply

    • Jaime Wiebel says

      We don't always know what to do or what to bring before God but we can be sure that He has a word for us in Scripture. Thank you so much for being here this week, Michele.

      Reply

  3. Melanie Redd says

    Hey Jaime,
    Thank you for sharing your story of surrender. I'm so sorry for what you have been through but so thankful that you are using it to bless others!
    Sure do appreciate you and your ministry~
    Blessings,
    Melanie

    Reply

    • Jaime Wiebel says

      Thank you so much, Melanie. I appreciate your words of encouragement! I appreciate that you come here every week to share your work with us and encourage us on the way. Have a great week!

      Reply

  4. Deborah Will says

    Jaime all I can say is WOW! I know some of that pain because I walked through miscarriages and then God walked me through infertility with my daughter and then the last 18 months we watched our DIL lose 5 or 6 babies and one set was twins. She lost one and a few weeks later the other.

    What a powerful post for others walking through this. Bless you my friend.

    Reply

    • Jaime Wiebel says

      I am sorry, Deborah that you had to face multiple miscarriages. The pain is real and takes some true mending by the Creator of Life. Thank you for sharing your heart with us here today! I am glad you are here, friend!

      Reply

  5. Julie Loos says

    Jaime- I'm so sorry for what you have had to walk through. I'm glad that God is using your pain to comfort another. In all pain, we can curl up with our Bible. God can ease that pain and give us His peace.
    So glad you're sharing!
    Julie

    Reply

  9. Beth says

    Thank you for walking through this painful loss and process you went through, Jaime. It must be still so painful to recall, much less write about it. But there is something healing in the sharing of our stories of pain and God's redemption, isn't there? I do pray this is bringing some measure of comfort to your torn and tattered mama heart. You continue to be in my prayers, my friend, and thank you so much for your bravery here. Many women need to hear your story and will be blessed because of it!

    Reply

  11. Mary Dolan Flaherty says

    God, in His perfect love, is a God of perfecting love. Wonderful. I cannot even imagine what you went through. I'm so sorry that you had to walk through this, but thank you for sharing your heartache with us. As painful as it must be to recall, it must be somewhat cathartic I would think.

    Reply

  12. Debbie Kitterman says

    As I read your story, it brought flooding back memories of my miscarriage, and my heart went out to you. I have walked with many friends through multiple miscarriages and it is so heart wrenching, and the only Hope we have is God. Thank you for sharing your story today at #ThoughtProvokingThursday where we are neighbors

    Reply

  13. Lori Schumaker says

    The surrendering is so very har … especially when it is our children. There is no greater sacrifice, right? And God knows that. He has experienced it. Thank you for sharing your story with such beauty and grace, my friend ♥ It gives so much hope.
    Hugs,
    Lori

    Reply

  15. June Caedmon says

    I can't imagine what you went through, Jaime, and how this loss still impacts your life. Thank you for bravely sharing your story so that others may find comfort and hope in our heavenly Father.

    Reply

  16. Renewed Daily says

    I can feel your heartfelt searching for the Lord in what must have been completely desperate times. Thank you for sharing so honestly here. You will bless many. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

    Reply

  18. Hazel Moon says

    The pain in losing a baby prior to birth or later is heart breaking. I remember the grief my daughter experiences in losing her first child. Thank you for sharing here at Tell me a Story.

    Reply

  19. Leah Grey says

    I'm not what I would call an emotional person by nature but your post brought me to the edge of tears. I can't imagine how you must of felt but I do know how heartbreaking grief and loss can be. I also know, God teaches us so much in those moments we're brought to our knees because I've been there many times! Thank you for sharing this, it does help bring some understanding for someone who hasn't had to suffer the loss of a child. God bless you and your ministry, your words and your testimony of faith!

    Reply

  21. Lauren C. Moye says

    Oh wow! This brought tears to my eyes. I definitely want to catch the next installment of this series. Thank you for being so real about your pain. I'm sure that will connect with other women who need to hear this.

    Reply

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