If anyone has been married for more than five minutes they know that it takes work. Give and take. Sometimes more giving and less taking.
When my husband and I first got married, we couldn’t even paint the same room together. It is not that we had a ton of disagreements. It was just that he was a put it on in forty-two thin coats guy and I was a lay it on thick in one coat kind of girl.
Not Totally Opposite
We all have different struggles. We come to a marriage with our own baggage, ideas, and backgrounds. If we had stayed in that place after ten years, the problems could have escalated to the point of break but break wasn’t an option.
I read a book early on in our marriage and I know you are going to ask the name but I can’t remember, sorry. What I do remember was one key factor. It said husbands want to know they are respected.
One little Word. Big concept!
So what did I do with that information? I treasured in my heart. When something comes up, I remember that he wants my respect in the situation. When he comes home from work after a long day. It is the same. He just wants to know he is respected.
When I was a middle school teacher, I had one rule in my classroom. Easy enough to remember. It was RESPECT. It encompassed so many things. Of course, we had to draw the parameters of what that looked like.
Same in a marriage. I have had to learn over the years what that looks like. To me, sometimes, it looks like more give and less take.
After several years and walking closer to Christ, my husband and I had the conversation about what our marriage looks like to Christ. His purpose for it and how we vowed not only to each other but to Christ. As believers, that puts marriage at a whole different level. Are we willing to break that vow we made to Christ?
From the Old to the New
From the Old to the New Testament, the words “two shall become one” are used repeatedly.
Although these words are read during the exchange of many wedding vows they are not always meant.
God, however, takes them seriously. The bond that He creates between a husband and a wife are binding. They are more than a contract or a piece of paper. They are the binding of hearts. (Click to Tweet!)
I love the sanctity of marriage God has created. It is a gift. One that should be treated as such.
As I told you last week in Our Little Garden, my family has been working on some great projects since last summer and I am so excited to share them with you.
This week as we were finishing our bench project, together, taking turns at painting. My husband was carrying the final project outside and he said (not knowing I would use it) Two chairs become one Bench.
A Three Strand Marriage
Immediately it hit me. Ten years ago we couldn’t have done this. Now, we love project work together. Not because we have exactly the same ideas or thoughts about the beginning, middle, or end process, but because through them we are one.
That is something to treasure. A project that together you have put hard work into and now has one result.
A marriage that began as two people coming together has continued because two people respect each other enough to cherish the differences. Being blessed through the unity of one that God has created.
I love the verse from Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can
defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
My husband is not only my best friend but one cord of our three strand relationship. Having Christ as the third strand makes for relationships not quickly broken.
Here is a video for this week’s project. Two Chairs Become One Bench. I hope you enjoy it!
Two Chairs Become One Bench from Jaime Wiebel on Vimeo.
*New To Sitting Among Friends*
I am glad to call you, friend! Here is a badge you are welcome to post on your site!
I am going to be sharing a Featured Friend, weekly! I love that so many of you come and share with us every week and I would love to highlight your work! The friend that I have chosen this week is… Lori Schumaker.
Lori is the blogger at Searching For Moments. She writes beautiful posts and hosts a weekly linkup called Moments of Hope. That is exactly what you get when you visit her page. You will not leave there without the knowing the Hope that Christ has placed in her heart. I am so glad you are here this week, friend!
While you’re here, sit down with some of my friends.
WOW! I know Summer is busy so I thank you all for coming here and for the 95 Amazing posts. This party has been wonderful and it is thanks to you, friends, who link-up with us and those who stop by and read and SHARE! Thank you!
You all are amazing writers who share DIY’s, Recipes, Photos, Giveaways, Homeschool and Family and Faith. Many of you have amazing journeys of faith and I praise the Lord we are able to connect here!
Friends are here to encourage and challenge us in our walk of life, so enjoy!
There are easy share buttons to your left or at the bottom of each post (mobile) and after you link-up. Thanks for sharing!
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Jaime,
You just made my heart gush right now, you know that? Thank you so much for featuring me this week. And even more than that, I am beyond thankful for your kind words. I pray often for God to use me for His Will. He put this message of hope, of compassion for aching souls, in my heart and my prayer is that I am obedient to that message! Thank you for being a sweet affirmation of that♥ Your community of friends is so warm and inviting and your heart so great big! I'm always blessed by my time here and I'm thankful God aligned our paths!!!
Blessings and great big smiles,
Lori
Congratulations Lori….
Jamie, you don't know how much I love love this post! Three fold cord…when Jesus makes the third person in that equation then nothing can shake that home.
Hugs and blessings to you friend.
Jaime, thankyou for your wisdom as always. Mimi xxx
I love your new DIY bench – a tutorial perhaps? I so pray that my daughter and her husband would get to where you have gotten in their 12-year marriage. Mr. Know-it-all and Ms. I'll-do-it-my-way. Oh how I pray. Thanks for the linkup, Jaime.
Thank you for hosting! Great post!
Thank you for hosting. Nice bench.
One of the problems when one person feels in competition with the other and control becomes an issue. Our society (in media and such) treats husbands as either buffoons and thugs simply said. So, what happens is that there is no respect given.
Thanks for shedding light on things.
This makes me smile! Two become one in every sense of the word! Oh to arrive at that place eventually in my marriage. Thank you for sharing your cute bench and your wisdom! Chair upholstery is always a fun change for not a lot of money… and I have some return paint waiting for a project! You may have started something over here! LOL!
Such a beautiful post, Jaime! Thank you for the inspiration! PS. Love your new feature!! 🙂 Have a blessed week.
Hi, Jaime! Love that you featured Lori this week! She is such an awesome person! This is such a wonderful article, my friend. It is amazing what can happen when Christ is in a marriage. Such a great correlation with the chairs into a bench, and how pretty it turned out. Thanks for hosting! Hope you have a fantastic week 🙂
The marriage lesson in "two chairs become one bench" is really precious! And no, marriage isn't a slam dunk, it does require work. Just like your DIY project, it takes an investment of time to make a thing of beauty. The bench is adorable, and your insights are very encouraging.
GOD BLESS!
Beautiful post, Jaime, as always. I especially loved the two chairs become one video DIY. A great metaphor for marriage–if you try to break them apart, neither one can stand alone again.
Joy to you!
Kathy
Hi, Jaime, I am new to your blog. I found you through one of the link parties, and now, I've joined up with Sitting Among Friends.
Anyhow, you have written such beautiful and wise words here. (And the bench is awesome!!) My husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary back in February, and, truly, were it not for the Lord as our third cord, there are times we would have probably thrown in the towel. But the Lord held us together and enabled us to work through struggles, and our marriage is stronger because of it.
Blessings,
Patti @ Embracing Home
I loved this. A poignant message for all married couples!
I needed to read this today. Thanks so much. So glad I visited. I'm your neighbor at Missional Women's Faith Filled Friday.